Everybody hates Chris...

This is my new show! I laughed until a cried. It reminded me of so many moments as an oldest child. I recommend everyone to check it out next thursday night. As an aside...Tyra is about to be the new Oprah. All we need on TV now is the Cosby Show reincarnate.

To date him or not to date him

Do you date him if....
1. He calls?
2. He wants your home phone number not your cell?
3. He calls you in the middle of the day?
4. He drives a nice car?
5. He's resourceful?
6. He's is honest and upfront?
7. He attended a well-known school?
8. He supports black businesses?


But how would that change if I told you...
1. He calls from his best friend's phone.
2. He is extremely aggressive about getting your home number because he does not have long distance on his cell.
3. He calls you at 1:00pm while you're at work because he is unemployed.
4. The car he met you in was his "people's" car (he wants to take you out but has no car)
5. By profession he's a boot-legger who can easily burn any cd, dvd, or vhs you request and give it to you free
6. He ask you if you are bi-sexual because that is his wack ass way of trying to find out if you are a freak because you said you were a scorpio
7. His school is well known for race riots in LA...this school is also where you work and you know he might not be too bright
8.You met him around the Crenshaw mall

The car..

I bought a new car yesterday and I think I should be far more excited than I am. I am excited about being able to get everywhere I need to be, however, I don't think I am so much excited about the car. Maybe I am treating it like everyone should treat their vehicles...like a means of reliable transportation and not penis with wheels, status symbol, or a false idol. I am grateful that I was able to find a suitable car and now I just need to worry about insuring it. I hear insurance is so high in So Cal that I will only be able to eat peanuts for dinner.

Random Commentary

Today's blog isn't special by any means...I just felt the need to express myself. I decided to edit the template of my blog since the other colors were a bit depressing (quietly, I think these may be too loud). I wanted something in my world to be bright because adult life is kicking me in the a*^ bone. I continue to truck it on the LA metro transit daily, which is not as bad as I thought. Although, I am ditching grad school tonight because I don't have bus fare to get there and back home. Something told me to take cash out when I went to the back yesterday:(

Meanwhile, I miss my mom. Dad still isn't speaking to me. I miss money. I miss life without real bills. I miss youthful innocence and candor. Lil' Kim is my new role model...lets see, ummm....oh, I was really krunk* to see Beyonce on the cover of Essence magazine (I LOVE HER!!!). Don't you love forgetting you have a check to deposit? I do. What is God saying to us with these hurricanes? True humility and love is when your stepmom calls you to leave you an encouraging message on your voicemail when her own mother is in a hospital bed with cancer. I think I'd like to close out these arbitrary thoughts with some "real-life" awards (505 will appreciate this):

Award for the Most Accident Prone Workaholic in need of a Vacation goes to...Leigh. (oh, how I love you)
Award for the Most Improved Drive to be a Star goes to...Tamika (How many people can say they tried to be an American Idol? I admire that!)
Award for the "I miss my friend Danielle so I give her daily shout-outs on my blog" goes to...Cherise (I miss you just as much, if not more)
Award for "I'm a Chicagoan til Chicago-end" goes to ...Aunt Kim for her ride or die Chi-town southside accent.
Award for "Best Hell-NO for an Auto Loan" goes to ...the California Teacher's Credit Union.


I think thats all I have to share for now...toodles.

*southern term for beyond excitement.

adventures on the LA metro...

Riding public transit in LA isn't as bad as people made it out to be. With the exception of the crazy man who cussed out the bus driver for being on time and the homeless man who sleeps at the bus stop wrapped in a blanket, its pretty alright. I feel like I live in LA now. I will be speaking fluent Spanish very soon since it is the language of choice in this city. Only place I need to figure out how to get to now is the route from my house to a car dealership because this bus thing isn't going to last much longer!lol

The creepy science teacher

Okay...take your mind back to when you were in your High School physics and/or chemistry class. If you were a student at Morgan Park HS, you would immediately think of Mr. Coleman and Mr. F. Lee Slick. These were two of the creepiest men ever. Mr. Coleman had the scariest eye brows I had ever seen. They were gray and crawled above the frames of his bifocal glasses. These brows extended from this face to his hair line and when he laughed they made him look like Dr. EVIL because they became V-Shaped. The crevice of the "v" rested at his nose. ahhh....bad memories. F. Lee Slick on the other hand, was not as creepy but definitely weird. He seemed like the quiet guy that eats humans and stores them in his deep freezer. The point I am getting at is...there is a teacher at my school who looks like "Bill Nye the science guy" gone wrong. He scares me. Thank goodness I am not a student anymore. I think its kinda worse because the creepy science teacher and I are colleagues now. lol

Relationship Realizations

There are three relationships I would like to look into for this particular contribution:
1. My relationship with my father
2. My relationships with men
3. My relationship with God


1. On DKC
When God created my father, he created one heck of a guy. I love my father for reasons that I find difficulty trying to explain. I see the love he has for me when I share an interest I have with him and he overwhelms me with ideas, research findings, and all kinds of other things on my new goal. I see his love when I he talks my head off about anything because he wants to make sure that I know everything. I feel safe with my father... It shouldn't be this hard to see how someone shows you they love you. Or better yet, it shouldn't be this hard to think of how they show their love to you. I think it would be easier if I thought he understood me...less difficult if he compromised more and didn't try to run my life...even simpler if he didn't make me feel like my career choices weren't good enough. The love you have for someone should be without condition, my love for him is unconditional.

2. On Men
Ever had this experience? You reconnect with someone you haven't spoken to in a while and, after a week of communication, realize why you didn't jump at the opportunity to get at them when you had the chance. This has definitely happened to me. I think I should stop trying to make myself interested in guys I clearly do not like. Experiences like this make me recognize what I do not want:
a. I do not want a socially imbalanced man.
b. I do not want a conversationally challenged man.
c. I do not want an relationally indecisive man (defined as a man who has trouble deciding between myself and the chick he never told me existed)
d. I choose not to date a man whose sexual identity is ambiguous or at some points unclear to me.

3. On God
This is a relationship that needs mending. Right now my relationship with God is similar to a child that got caught misbehaving and tiptoes around his father so his father doesn't remember his behavior and get mad all over again. In my attempts to pray lately, I haven't been able to find words to say. I think of God all the time...especially since I hung up on my father last night. It would probably be a good idea to spend some time in the days to come and listen to the still voice. I have been trying to fill my days with noise and people so I wouldn't have to acknowledge the spiritual void that is present.

In all three cases, issues must be addressed in order for the relationship to be rekindled. It's important to assess what your needs are and what you will/will not accept in order to move on. Acknowledging where you are in the relationship aides the growth of it.

Teaching at Jefferson

So, for the next few weeks, I will be teaching children with autism, mental retardation, and cerebral palsy. The kids are great...the administration of the school sucks. Because the kids I teach require so much, the administration restricts them to two classrooms only. The students travel between my classroom and another teacher's class all day. It has been requested that my students no longer visit the school library because they are distracting to the other teachers. Plainly stated: this is discrimination. Children who have significant behavioral challenges are thrusted into special education without regard to their academic capabilities. Jeff HS is 93% latino, 6% African-American, and 1% other. The publicized "race riots" that have occurred at Jefferson in the past year have been exaggerated by the mass media. What has in fact occurred is a cultural shift in population. Dorothy Dandridge, Alvin Ailey, and Ralph Bunche are among Jefferson HS alumni. The school was historically an all black school in formerly all black South Central LA. Now, the school auditorium is the only place to find the black faces of esteemed alumni and many of the current students are unfamiliar with the legacy of the school. In the homecoming court race there are no black students. The school newspaper does not show one black face. The teachers fear the students to the point that reprimanding a child for using poor language (swearing in the presence of an adult) is unheard of. The students smell fear in the teachers and I truly believe that this will continue because the administration is resistant to change. I search myself for a place to begin my journey at Jefferson...so much to be done.

Being Flexible...A way of life

So today I find myself at Jefferson Senior High in South Central LA. I was told that I would be a substitute teacher on a day-by-day basis, however, when I arrive I learn that I am to take over a Special Education class until October 31, 2005. Are you serious? I was not in any way prepared to be teaching so soon. In addition to my own apprehensions, I discovered this morning that my students do not have any books! How do you learn without books? The school has no materials and the there is no new teacher orientation. I, a political scientist, am expected to teach functional math, applied reading and writing, community orientation, self-care, and computer access for the handicapped without any books. I still haven't met the principal. The school does not have paper or writing supplies. Today I will do the impossible...today I will become superwoman. *I'll revisit this blog after-school to share how the day ended up.