Chai Latte
A late night drive. Loneliness lead me to call a friend from my recent past and as I shared with him my most recent obsession with Chai Latte, our surface conversation went subterranean. We both danced the dance of intellectual humor where topical courtesies override matters of the heart. As I went on and on about my new life, I thought I heard the line go dead...
"Are you still there?" He replies, "I'm always here." Whammy. Most people simply become annoyed with the frequent check for an active listener, however, to say "I'm always here" says so much more. What does he mean? Now I decided a little while ago that men say exactly what they mean and it is us women who analyze and decode their statements into our own flights of fancy. I ask him for clarity. There is something so divine about an honest heart because love permeates the surface even when we desire to conceal our true intentions. He chooses safety, "I like to load my words." I keep digging. It is later discovered that when he sees me he sees his own defeat; a battle he never won. His first failure. If only he knew that he was fighting me in order to gain me. Since surface level conversation has never been my forte in times like this, I ask him, "If I take my clothes off, will you take yours off too?" He agrees. So I began to clarify his misunderstandings. He decided to stop playing the safe game and admit that he is still learning how to only think of me as a friend. With timing, destiny, and distance working against us...I wonder how different things would have been if we met under isolated conditions. Our conversation was so exposing...I couldn't immediately fall asleep. I was inspired to write; few men have this power.
The Point:
I think I met a man who is everything I could want in a man. He is intellectually stimulating. He is considerate. He is comfortable and honest with himself. He is goal-oriented and hard-working. He compliments me regularly. He is unselfishly giving of his time and his attention. He was ready to give me everything that he was...but I decided to be detached. No, he isn't the coolest. He isn't the most fashionable. And everyone doesn't like him. But he is 100% about the business of pleasing me. I allowed the opinions of others, previous experiences, and a lot of dating sub-categories that don't matter to help me dissect him into imperfect pieces so that I wouldn't be able to see him whole anymore. Today he isn't mine. He isn't anyone else's, but, surely not mine. When the real one comes to you...Are you woman enough to take him as he is?
Post your thoughts...
DOC
7 Comments:
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#1..What in da hell are you talking about? what is all this unnecessary jargon you are using...JUST TELL THE DAMN STORY
#2...It isnt really about being woman enough, because even the most womanly womany is shallow. I think it is a maturity level that you have to have to look beyond what the world says is good and sexy and oh so fine to get what you feel is tailor made for you, even if its not Boris Kudjoe :(..lol
I just wanna know who it is...nosey as usual.
-BP
Sometimes I think you don't want a man that would be good to you, if you did you could and would have one. I think maybe you don't think you're worthy of what you claim to seek, and so you somehow make it unattractive. And I agree with Reesie, JUST TELL THE DAMN STORY.
Interesting post, and even more interesting comments. I do think that there is a place inside of us that is scared of getting exactly what it wants. There is almost a comfort in "seeking" rather than realizing that we already have it.
Your happiness though, should always be your main concern. And, if HE is all about THAT business, then I say open yourself and enjoy it!
This was a great blog and your question is so engaging. I must agree with Trenity, we are a bit apprehensive about receiving what we want because there is always this notion of whether or not we're getting the "real thing." Furthermore, getting what we want and need a two totally different things, and when what we want doesn't come with our liking there is a tendency to dismiss it. From what I've read it appears that this man is a person of genuine character and this is what breeds consistency, not appearance. If you find yourself needing guidance about the situation, pray on it, but like Trenity said..."if he's all THAT" I say GO FOR IT too!!! :)
wow. you've said more than i can effectively comment on. i'll try again tomorrow.
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