Closing the Books

Disclaimer: This blog is a little more personal, so...if you're looking for something comical...this isn't the one:) I was beginning to censor my blog from what I really wanted to write about because I felt the subject matter too personal...but eff it, I am who I am. ENJOY!!

With that said, I am ready to free myself. I always wanted to be the type of person that maintained relationships with significant others. You know, the "nice" girl who was always looked upon fondly because although things didn't work out she would be one that could be revisited. After seven+ years of being this person, I've decided that I don't want to be her anymore. I've been loved yet overlooked, respected but underappreciated, and the chosen subject of infidelity. The men...honorable, trustworthy, humorous, caring...good people. No matter how many times I try to analyze the comparative opportunity cost between them all I keep coming up with the same answer: not good enough for you.

This isn't about being insatiable and meticulous about the opposite sex. Flaws are flaws and it is up to each person to decide which they are able to deal with and which they simply cannot. What cannot be compromised is sincerity of purpose. I have to close the book on the guys who sorta wanted to be on my team but for whatever reason failed to make the mark. I'm closing the book on the guys who couldn't see past the superficial; they saw me but they didn't see ME. I'm closing the book on the past loves with present hopes; I realized I was the only one hoping. Yeah, no one will admit they've been here too and its okay. Self-actualization is on-going.

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick: but when the desire cometh it is a tree of life"-- Proverbs 13:12

DOC