Aesthetic Hierarchy

Where does attractive rank on the hierarchy of aesthetics? And exactly what does it mean? Are some terms more sexual in nature than others? I thought of a few terms that men and women alike use to describe their sentiments about the physicalities of one another:

cute pretty fine attractive okay gorgeous beautiful wifey handsome manly womanly sexy




As you read each term, feel free to rank them in whichever order you deem proper. If you do rank them, explain why certain terms outweight the others.

Awaiting your commentary...

DOC

ADHD

When I get off work everyday, my plan looks a little like this:

Leave work, lesson plan, make copies for tomorrow's class, eat dinner, iron my clothes for tomorrow, go to bed.


When I get off work, this is what actually happens: (in this order)

Drive home (3:40p), leave my class materials in the car, plug in the MAC, sign on to www.facebook.com, feed new obsession with photo galleries and updates, ooohhh, new messages. Did she/he respond to my message? Look at so and so in that pic...he looks much better than he did in school? Why did she put up that photo? Damn, can you un-tag my name from that pic? No he didn't say that shit on my wall...

(its now 5:45p...if i sign off now, I can lesson plan at starbucks)

just gotta check my email...www.aol.com, nothing good. Back to facebook, no new messages...who's got a new blog up? Damn, WAR and PEACE is funny as hell!!! Strictly Business...not so much business lately. The Last Prince...never thought about life that way before. Ahhh....bonding through the online journal, nothing like it. I should update my blog...nah, nothing to say at the moment. I'll wait. Sure don't feel like lesson planning.

(take a break...time check:7:00pm)

Juggling between facebook and iChat. Effing AIM. IM Whizdilla...whats good in Atl. Cuzzo IMs me. I finally open MS Word for MAC. Melaniepgc IMs me to tell me she has taken up baking. Close MS Word to congratulate the southern lady refining her skills. (don't feel like doing this lesson plan shit...why am I in Teach for America and grad school at the same time anyway?) Should have gone to NY. Who moves to LA? (sigh...)

(Time check: 9:30p)

Holla at El Pollo Loco...cooking isn't an option. Start thinking about ways to stretch out today's lesson into tomorrow's lesson objective. Copies...i'll have my TA make them when I get there in the morning. Outfit for tomorrow...i'll figure it out when I get up.

*mental note: need to create an LSAT study schedule pronto.

(Time Check: 11:07p)

Final facebook check: updates...two that catch my eye. She's single without a link to his page; He has no status...no link to hers.

Enough for tonight...Time check: 11:30p

On to another day.

A 23rd on the 10th (favs)

I had to delay the birthday updates to see what other interesting things would happen by Sunday. Here goes:


10. My 10th graders almost caught an ass whopping on Thursday for acting a fool during 5th Period.

9. My paycheck was short $1000

8. Went out with the TFA crew to a turtle racing event. Apparently, people only attend this event to watch women show their thongs and bend over as they place the turtles in the racing bin. A random couple of women ran out to the racing mat and tongue-kissed in front of everyone. Which leads me to #7...

7. The TFA friend (or so I thought)saw the two women kissing and affirmed three times that she would like to go out there with me and "really show me something"...hmmm (strictly di----, you know the rest)

6. Met a random black dude from Eugene, OR (didn't know black folks lived there for real)

5. Bonded with my roommie over the need to buy abstinence supports (use your imagination)...nothing brings people together like sex talks.

4. My mom and dad didn't send me any birthday cards.

3. I am too old to receive presents from them.

2. Talked to an old friend and realized I still love him. I'll be glad when I don't feel anything.

1. Realized there is no such thing as fidelity.

Chai Latte...a response to the comments

so...

L.Davenport: The truth is, I bitched and moaned for a couple years about what I was looking for in a guy. However, when he arrived in a package that I wasn't completely attracted to, I didn't allow myself to enjoy it. There is a measure of truth to what you say and I will admit that I was shocked by this guy because it had been soooooo long since someone reminded me of what I wonderful woman (which is something one should never forget) I was that I didn't know how to respond to him. I pushed him away.

Lonestar83: You are right and being out of the AUC helps you detach yourself from what the world says is attractive and sexy. At that time, I was in a microcosm where I was uncomfortable liking the secularly "unlikeable".

BP: I'll never tell...

Chai Latte

A late night drive. Loneliness lead me to call a friend from my recent past and as I shared with him my most recent obsession with Chai Latte, our surface conversation went subterranean. We both danced the dance of intellectual humor where topical courtesies override matters of the heart. As I went on and on about my new life, I thought I heard the line go dead...
"Are you still there?" He replies, "I'm always here." Whammy. Most people simply become annoyed with the frequent check for an active listener, however, to say "I'm always here" says so much more. What does he mean? Now I decided a little while ago that men say exactly what they mean and it is us women who analyze and decode their statements into our own flights of fancy. I ask him for clarity. There is something so divine about an honest heart because love permeates the surface even when we desire to conceal our true intentions. He chooses safety, "I like to load my words." I keep digging. It is later discovered that when he sees me he sees his own defeat; a battle he never won. His first failure. If only he knew that he was fighting me in order to gain me. Since surface level conversation has never been my forte in times like this, I ask him, "If I take my clothes off, will you take yours off too?" He agrees. So I began to clarify his misunderstandings. He decided to stop playing the safe game and admit that he is still learning how to only think of me as a friend. With timing, destiny, and distance working against us...I wonder how different things would have been if we met under isolated conditions. Our conversation was so exposing...I couldn't immediately fall asleep. I was inspired to write; few men have this power.

The Point:
I think I met a man who is everything I could want in a man. He is intellectually stimulating. He is considerate. He is comfortable and honest with himself. He is goal-oriented and hard-working. He compliments me regularly. He is unselfishly giving of his time and his attention. He was ready to give me everything that he was...but I decided to be detached. No, he isn't the coolest. He isn't the most fashionable. And everyone doesn't like him. But he is 100% about the business of pleasing me. I allowed the opinions of others, previous experiences, and a lot of dating sub-categories that don't matter to help me dissect him into imperfect pieces so that I wouldn't be able to see him whole anymore. Today he isn't mine. He isn't anyone else's, but, surely not mine. When the real one comes to you...Are you woman enough to take him as he is?

Post your thoughts...
DOC

The Empty Dream

I had the oddest dream last night. As I seek to congeal my thoughts and analyze what occurred, maybe my faithful blog readers can assist me.

The Dream

For some reason, i am with my family at some posh restaurant waiting for others to arrive. As more of my relatives arrived and greeted me, it dawned on me why they were present. They flew from everywhere because everyone was under the impression that I was getting married. My mother was beaming. My grandmother ecstatic. My close cousins and childhood playmates arrived and we walked about the restaurant arm in arm reminiscing. Internally, I felt disturbed because everyone was present and having a great time at this familial midday pre-wedding weekend brunch except one person--this "soon-to-be" husband of mine. I had no recollection of who this person was supposed to be. I was so happy to see all of my family that I never recognized that I was not engaged, not in a meaningful relationship, nor did I know anyone who had an interest. The peculiar part of it all is no one asked about "him". How does one marry without a significant other? Was this a spiritual marriage? What does it all mean?


Post your thoughts...I'm listening

"out in the streets....they call it Muuuurrrrddaaaaa"

While in mid-sentence, a knock at the door redirects my attention to a mid-size young man accompanied by the academic dean. The pass in his hand indicated that today was his first day and he would be joining three of my classes this term. As he walks to his seat, other students greet him and ask,"hey man, how long you been out?" I am puzzled because I immediately assume he was locked up. While the other students continue working and as I add his name to my roll book, he begins a conversation with me about being locked up...

Student: "yeah miss, i ain't tryin to go back there no more. I just got out of juvie and after I left juvie they sent me to the county jail."

Me: "Its good that we all make efforts to change the path of our lives. What were you in for?"

Student: "they almost gave me life, miss. I was in for Attempted Murder."

Me: "I see. How old are you?"

Student: "17"

What do you say to this? My own infraction with the law resulted in the suspension of my driver's license. I have never been to jail let alone faced with a life sentence. For this student, the case isn't closed. He could still be sent to jail for a life sentence. The next day he arrives to class in all blue. Blue sweatshirt, jeans, blue and white chucks. The more things change, the more they stay the same.