Saturday, October 29, 2005

Making a boo-boo

Life is filled with experiences and the beauty of these encounters is admitting when you made a poor choice. A poor choice may not be a bad decision in the general sense, however, it is definitely a unsatisfactory fit on you. You begin to ask yourself why you choose to continue on this path and you waiver between the following ideas:

1. you'd like to think that you finish what you start (no matter how difficult)
2. Can you afford to leave the path your on
3. Should you bow out gracefully?

The answers have yet to be revealed. I could continue on the path I'm on and try my best. The only thing being sacrificed is the academic achievement of 52 kids....I need to make a decision.

Friday, October 28, 2005

the purchase

Who would've thought one purchase could meet soooooo many needs!! Thank God for for alternative options to everything and creative capitalism.

The copy cat...

I saw this on my friends page and decided I wanted to view my own...

Scorpio: The Amorous Nature
YOU AND THE SCORPIO WOMAN
Faint heart never won a Scorpio female. It takes a man who knows exactly what he wants to hold his ground against a woman born under this sign.

Scorpio woman is very emotional, very affectionate, and very demanding. She is not interested in a light flirtation or a bed for the night. Neither does she believe in sharing. Any man who thinks it isn't necessary to sign a treaty just because he's having an affair with a woman would do well to avoid getting involved with a Scorpio female. She believes in treaties with irrevocable clauses and lots of fine print spelling out just what you can't do.

How does she get away with being so possessive and jealous? Because she is a marvelous, fascinating, irresistible woman—exciting in the bedroom, entertaining in the living room. She carries with her an enticing air of mystery. She can drive a man to the brink of despair and with a gesture summon him back to the heights of happiness.

There is no in-between with this explosive female. With any other woman of the zodiac, you can work out some sort of compromise about who has rights and who has suffered wrongs. Not with her. You have to knuckle under and make the best of your bargain, or settle for living in the middle of a permanent earthquake.

Love is very important to her, and she can turn on enough magnetism to attract any man. If a man is really special, she is willing to play the role of aggressor. Her dynamo starts to whir as soon as her remarkable intuitions tell her that this man is someone she'll be happy with. Her intuitions are rarely wrong. She is gifted with the ability to penetrate into hidden secrets of human nature.

Scorpio is a water sign, and like all the water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) this woman is very susceptible to the feelings of others. Her most intense desire is for a close, committed union. In a relationship she cannot bear coldness or casualness or a feeling that she is being shunted aside. When she is in love she is at her most vulnerable, for then a lover can hurt her without even knowing it. Another woman might forgive and forget, but when Scorpio woman is hurt she will always strike back. If necessary, she will destroy.

However, despite what you've heard about Scorpio's willful, passionate nature, she is a faithful mate to the man she chooses for her own. Hers is a fixed sign, and she possesses an enduring capacity for loyalty. A man could not have a fiercer ally. If Scorpio woman loves you, she will defend and protect you with her dying breath. What she demands is constancy—what she offers is fidelity. She is possessive, but most men with a Scorpio woman in their lives will tell you they want nothing more than to be possessed by her.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

505 and Homecoming 2005

I never thought I'd say it but ....I MISS THE DIRTY!!!!! I should have written this blog earlier because my ideas were far funnier and fresh on my brain. Although my elderly mind is beginning to forget things...I managed to salvage some key ideas on which to elaborate:

a. 505
l am so glad I had the opportunity to spend time w/505. There's something unique about laughing until you sob (laughing until you cry means you aren't laughing hard enough), making fun of each other, and shedding tears when its time to go back to real life that brings people together.

b. The more things change...the more they stay the same.
A trip to homecoming wouldn't have been a trip at all if certain friends didn't show their true colors. It is to be expected that Mayra* would pull some shady shit this past weekend. Stuff like ignoring you when you say you're hungry to go and eat sushi with another group of friends and only kicking with you at the party you're attending because her jumpoff was headed to the party you went to. No one cares about your shoes costing $1500!! But i digress....

c. Old men
So, I defintely was hemmed up in a corner by an old jamaican man in the club. He kept asking me if I was married as his eyes cascaded down my frame...I felt like a whore just sitting there. I kept looking for cherise or jason to save me, but just like the loved ones they are...they left me there with "chester the woman molester".

d. Pleasant surprises
Two guys that I, at some point, felt strong about were present this past weekend. Needless to say, I am glad time heals old wounds. They were both looking good (one more so than the other) and I'm pleased that I had the opportunity to see them this weekend. What would have been even better is if I got to ....... one of them. (fill in the blank however you please...if you're my girl you picked the right thought).

e. Unbe-weaveable
Men are so hair obsessed its ridiculous. I got more compliments with my "long as s*#! to my thong and s*!#" hair than I ever got with my own. I have the best hairstylist in the world!!!!

I will leave you with a few fun lines from this weekend...

"I see you lookin...wit yo lookin ass"

"Bitch, don't get all A-Flat with me"

"Jason, what are you an effing chimney" (after he smoked 1,000 cigarettes)

til next time...

Monday, October 17, 2005

A few of my favorite things...(not in this order)

McDonalds french fries...burger king tried to steal me away for a minute, but their fries just taste like dirty potatoes.

Heinz 57 Ketchup*thanks reesy

Sleep in the pouring rain.

Down feather comforter with 300-count egyptian cotton duvet cover (heaven on earth).

men with the "grown man" smell (translation: men that take pride in finding a cologne that matches their body chemistry)

getting my eyebrows waxed regularly (its like a new face every two weeks)

505

Hearing the life stories of older black women and drawing from their wisdom (especially those who have lived through the civil rights movement)

A male hairstylist with orgasmic hands at the shampoo bowl

my grandmother olivia

spending money and learning how to make more of it

Good Tea

Fabulous earrings

Shoes that make an average outfit look like Haute Couture

Reading Books that make you stop and take a look within

A man that makes you wanna take care of him

Love that inspires you to chorus


...a sentimental day...

Friday, October 14, 2005

The solo date

One would assume being a 20-something in Los Angeles would mean endless dating and mating. This could not be further from the truth. In protest to being that desperate woman that will date anything just to have male company, I took myself on a date. I think it was much needed. On my solo date, I met a gay man who does costume design for films (...its LA). He wanted to keep in touch with me because he was from NYC and I am from Chicago (thereby making us the only normal people in los angeles). These are the kinds of things that happen when you go places alone. You have to interact with others. I miss people...everyone in this city is socially inept. (I am obssessed with my iPod nano!!)

nite

The Gospel

I took myself on a date tonight to see the Gospel and I am not sure what I was expecting, but I left with more than I would've thought. Lust carried my interest at the onset of the film because Boris (God bless his parents!!) and Idris Elba are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fine! I had to catch myself from lusting after Nicole Ari Parker-Kodjoe's husband! I mean, I left the movie theater tonight thinking, I have to marry a black man (hands down). After my hormones subsided, I was able to take a spiritual/positive message from the movie: The only way to come to God is honestly with humility. Its funny how you become an adult, gain "experiences", and allow these encounters (especially the bad) with people (flawed and unreliable) to shape your heart. These experiences we all go through keep us from loving ourselves, trusting others, and believing in the greater good. We speak negatively about things we once hoped for. I think this is where I found myself within the last couple of months. To say the least, I saw myself in this film. As Boris ran away from everything he knew to be true, it all culminated with him having to face God by himself. He had to face his confusion, his fears, uncertainty, and indiscretions. The beautiful aspect of this is that he never put on a facade for God. I believe that God honors truth (whatever your personal truth means). The people who act like they are super self-righteous as the ones God despises.

No more thoughts....just inspiration for change.
DOC

Monday, October 10, 2005

the alumnae meeting

Now I am official...I have attended my first Spelman Alumnae meeting. I must say it was a little disappointing because the wonderful women I experienced Spelman with weren't present. There was no one there who remembered the night Leigh called someone ugly and a lamp mysterious fell on her face shortly after...no spelman sister was present who recalled the nights when HH Phi Beta (penthouse northside) was "super-saved" and used to hold prayer on Sunday in 317. Nonetheless, I was blessed to in the company of women who discovered life in our beloved community. Although I don't plan to live in Los Angeles long, I do look forward to being involved in the local chapter. For all of my other recent graduates, join the alumnae association. It does a soul good.

Friday, October 07, 2005

random commentary pt.2

I am tired. I have a million and one things to do and I think I may need a body double. I need one of me to stay in LA, manage my financial budget, dodge the police (i don't have car insurance yet:), prepare for the GRE, complete my assignments for Grad school, and decorate my bedroom. I need another me to miraculously lose 120lbs, fly to atlanta, pamper me, get a new look, buy new clothes, and look(& feel) absolutely fabulous for homecoming 2005. Realistically, this shit is not about to pop off the way I planned. The weird part is ...I have the money to go to atlanta and have a good time. The real reason I am not going is because I don't feel like I have accomplished my short-term personal goals. Adulthood is the time in your life (so I am discovering) when you make choices...go to homecoming and kick it...or stay in LA relieve yourself of some debt and study. You make the call.

I am a little lonely today. I need an STD (something to do) type of guy. One of those...lets hang out and go to the movies/lets be affectionate/dinner date type of friends. I think R. Kelly called them "homie/lover/friends".

I am excited about the Spelman alumnae meeting this weekend. I bought a bed today and I have a really creative idea about my bedroom decor. I found a dark bamboo stick bundle at Pier 1 and I plan to purchase some eccentric fabric (primarily bold solid colors and rich prints) to drape around the bamboo rods. Its like a "mock headboard". My bookclub meeting is this weekend and I have been waiting in anticipation since I joined. Our feature book of the month is entitled NAKED. To say the least, reading about the experiences of other women as they share their stories about body image and blackness has sparked a myriad of thoughts within me. Everybody loves Chris is funny as hell...its the reason I rush home on Thursday. Don't you miss rushing home to watch quality TV? Remember when you had to be at home from 7pm to 9pm Friday night (no matter what was going on) because it was TGIF and it all began with Steve Urkel (or Stephan Urkell). Ahhh...when TV keep us out the streets. My new obsession...I really want an IPOD nano. Call me a loser for suggestive selling but I really really really really really really really really really really really WANT ONE!!!! In fact...thats my new birthday wish. I need a new PC also. Ummm....i'm running all over the place now. I'll end the torture.

DOC

Saturday, October 01, 2005

To Press or Relax (a reflection)

The black woman's burden is centered around our crowning glory--our hair. My grandmother (God bless her soul) was so petrified by my hair that she secretly had her hairstylist apply chemical relaxer to my hair at age three (of course, my mother was livid). My hair has been a serious obsession ever since. After spending the earliest portion of my hair years growing out a relaxer and transitioning to a press, I began to visit Ms. Henrietta. Ms. Henrietta was a old school hairdresser who at some point migrated to Chicago from the dirty long before I was ever thought of. In my memories, my cousin and I would wake up at 6:00am on Saturday morning to head the westside of Chicago for our 7:15 appointment w/Ms. Henrietta. I recall waiting in the hairshop for an eternity as Ms. H pressed my hair with one hand and ate a pigfoot drenched in hotsauce with the other. Pigs feet and greens were one of the delicacies of Ms. Henrietta's hair shop. In fact, I ate my first pigs foot at the salon...lol, I was such a greedy child. As I got older, I thought I was too good for the Pig Feet shop. I wanted a relaxer and considered the pressed look old fashioned. I got my approved relaxer at the age of 10 and my hair has been a pain in my ass ever since. As a grown woman in LA, where the press and curl is ever present, I find myself trying to become unshackled by chemical treatments. I haven't seen my hair in its natural state in God knows how long. I am excited to meet myself again...the way God made me. I think my reasons for shying away from non-chemically treated hair is because I didn't feel strong enough to be myself. In fact, I was afraid to see what "myself" looked like. Maybe this step will allow me to transition to a larger step which would be freeing myself from straighteners all together. We all grow in different phases.

P.S. I think I am upset with the limitations accentric culture as placed on a woman's beauty. When I see my sisters who have released themselves from chemical treatments, my heart is proud...I am motivated because that is the level of freedom I desire to experience.

Moment of Truth,
DOC

Something I HATE

The process of getting to know someone gets on my darn (trying not to use explicatives these days) nerves. I hate that odd period when you a guy and you don't get each other's jokes because you are still learning each other's sense of humor. I hate it when someone expresses their interest in you and there actions differ from their words. Hate does not describe my sentiments for this guy that I thought I liked but as I continue speaking with him, I realize that we have only had only good conversation. He annoys me. He would be likeable if he didn't bore me to death. I feel like I am doing a one-woman coon show when I talk to him on the phone. It has always been my understanding when a man likes a woman, he will show direct interest in her. This guy is far too ambiguous for me. So ambiguous that I am not so sure that I want to be his friend. I think this saga has only gone this far because I am not currently entertaining anyone else...if I were, clearly I wouldn't care. So much for allowing boredom to direct relationships.

Your crappy relationship expert,
DOC

The Nightlife

I had the pleasure of experiencing a taste of LA "nightlife" this evening. When darkness fell over the city, I was sitting in the backrow at the Conga Room waiting for a love poet/live music event to begin. When I walked through the door, I realized that my friends and I were the only ones able to classify ourselves in the 21-25 age group. Can you see some 40+somethings dancing to Trillville "Some Cut". Not a pleasing sight to say the very least. When the show began I noticed two things off top: the sister with her entire back out (including her back's back...she didn't need to have on that catsuit), and the sister with her BELLY out (not simply a stomach). I am not by any means the fashion police, however, I am the "big gul in the wrong ensemble" police. PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!!! As a member of the big girl crew, I feel comfortable in advising my sisters to CAMOUFLAGE! Colors and sizes should be our friends not our enemies. More important than clothing, I realized that everyone in LA has a miniscule claim to fame. Before one performer did her thing, she was introduced like so...
announcer:"Do you all remember the song 'Brenda's got a Baby'?" "Well, our next performer sang the hook on that song. Give her a hand."

Now it may just be me...but wasn't that a dude singing the hook on that track?hmmmm (reesy google this please)

To add insult to injury, the announcer said and here with her tonight is Tupac's brother. All due respect to Pac, but do you want to spend your life introduced as "Pac's brother". What's your name son? and what do you do as an individual that you need introduction?hmmm

My new name is Mike Jones because my ass is hot in LA. I met an interesting fellow this evening...a college drop-out. Sounds promising. lol

Til next time

back to school night

Recuerda cuando su era un nino y sus maestros dijeran sus padres mal cosas sobre ti. Ayer, yo era esa maestra. Did you understand any of this? If not, you experienced what I experienced at Parent/Teacher night. None of my kid's parents speak english...and thats cool because this shows me how my ass needed to learn Spanish many years ago. Pero ahora, yo estoy aprendiendo muy rapidamente. By this time next year...I think I might be fluent.